Book Review by Chiwah/The Light Connection

A Woman's Guide to Opening a Man's Heart
Trafford Publishing; 2008
200 pages; $22.25 (pbk)
ISBN 978-1-4120-7352-3

What woman hasn't felt the heartache of failing to connect more deeply with her man? And what man hasn't felt the temptation to shut down in the face of a woman's emotions?

Beginning by inviting us to see how nature and society collude to set it up that way, Kamala offers instructive examples from real life that both women and men can relate to. She breaks the problem down into easily digestible, bite-size chunks, then shines a light into the darkness of self-delusion to make it clear that it originates not in the other person, but in ourselves.

Beginning with the premise that a man can feel safe enough to relax his defenses with a woman who has learned to fully accept and love the dark parts of herself, the book offers exercises for attaining greater self-acceptance, asking for what we want in a non-defensive, non-threatening manner, and developing a level of intimacy that takes us far beyond sex.

I particularly appreciated her approach to the discussion of tantra. “Flawless attention to what is, attention that is neither goal-oriented nor performance-based, combined with the mastery of breath, is the gateway to Tantra,” she explains. Later in the book she goes into detailed descriptions of a variety of ways to use the breath to enhance the experience of spiritualized intimate connection.

Though the title suggests a book for women, men will in fact find it equally instructive.

I found A Woman's Guide to Opening a Man's Heart a treasure chest of frank and thoughtful insights into what it takes to create a transformative relationship, offered to the reader in a tone both compassionate and respectful.

Initially it was the title that intrigued me—and as I made my way through the book, fascination turned to love. Kudos to Kamala for creating a masterpiece that mirrors in its tone the compassion and respect advocated in its instructive content.

—Chiwah