Heartgasms: Discovering Energy Sex

Almost everyone knows, by this time, that everything in our universe is made up entirely of energy. All that we can see is energy, vibrating at a rate our eyes can receive. Yet there is an invisible energy that plays an equally important role in our lives. Sexual/spiritual energy has been understood and used for centuries in health, longevity and personal evolution. Moreover, by understanding and using the life force in our mind/body with wisdom and skill, we may experience openhearted relationships and the potential for the unity we all share.


Awakening the Serpent  
      
Spiritual-sexual energy is like a sleeping serpent, ready to be roused for our benefit. In Sanskrit it is called the "Kundalini" energy, which, when awakened, travels up the energy centers, or "chakras", of the body. In the Vedic system, these include the root center, at the base of the spine, the sex center, the solar plexus, the heart, the throat, the brow or third-eye, and the crown centers. As  energy moves through the chakras it cleanses and ignites the human experience that corresponds to each one. For example, the root center corresponds to our survival and physical balance. When it is blocked we are out of balance and in fear about our ability to "make it" in life. We tend to contract, closing down our generosity and resources. When it is open, we feel abundant, fertile and alive with the glow of life. Likewise, our sexual center corresponds to our generative capacity and our sexuality; the solar plexus center to our power and self-concept; the heart center to our love, trust and  connection with others; the throat center to our creativity and expression; the third-eye center to our intuition, vision and perception; and the crown center to our connection with Spirit. When each energy center is cleansed and opened, we experience a corresponding sense of well-being and connectedness in its life segment.

Sexual/ spiritual energy is like the rocket fuel that propels us through the psycho-spiritual blocks that lodge in our energetic mind/ body system, carrying us to the vast expanses of clear, limitless consciousness. Yet, in spite of the powerful potential of spiritual-sexual energy for personal evolution, we have all been trained to experience a separation between our minds, bodies and spirits. Instead of becoming the doorway to higher consciousness, sexuality usually becomes the stage on which we enact our comedies, fantasies and tragedies. Befriending and and directing the spiritual energy fueled by sex is one way of healing the body-mind-spirit split. Tantra Yoga is a vast and powerful discipline that embraces that purpose as well as other consciousness-expanding practices.

Riding the Serpent

Learning to use energy in sex begins with gaining an awareness of what causes it to flow. Sexual energy flows on the medium of intention  and connection. The more attention to the present moment there is, and the more connection that is present, the more energy flows between persons.

However, the connection that causes this flow of energy does not have to be personal. It can be a transcendent, universal kind of love, an esteem for the personhood or precious qualities of another, or a simple honoring of  a person's value in your life.  It can also be a wise, innate understanding that, as sparks of Creation, all persons are worthy of love. No matter which way you regard your partner, love or esteem will create a dynamic connection through which you can contact the heart energy that, in combination with intention or desire, generates spiritual/sexual energy.

Flawless attention to what is, that is, attention that is neither goal-oriented nor performance-based, combined with the mastery of breath, is the gateway to tantra. When we have a goal, we are no longer present to what is being experienced in the moment, which means we are no longer paying attention to the moment. Being present to what is happening now requires our total attention. Relaxing the body and centering ourselves in the breath helps us drop our goals, pay attention, and open to the unknown. True power comes when we give up control in order to stay aware and present.

Since energy goes where attention goes, true union takes a joining of the heart and sexual energy for the purpose of circulating it between persons. In sacred sex, the energy that would be discharged in orgasm or ejaculation is often circulated and re-directed to fuel higher consciousness, heal physical and psychological blocks, or manifest personal goals.
       
The Wave  
    
Energy follows a wave-like pattern, with a natural ebb and flow. A woman's energy tends to follow the wave more than a man's, which tends to peak and subside more quickly and independently. Tantric yogis believe that a woman is directly connected to the source of creation, and that her sexual energy, termed "shakti" in Sanskrit, is the divine manifestation of Spirit. It is therefore said that the man rides a woman's "Shakti Wave." 

This flowing energy follows a path in both the male and female body from the root center to the head and back down to the root center. As it cleanses, invigorates and activates all the energy centers, reawakening a deadened nervous system, it  produces an undercurrent of expansion that affects the energetic body/mind. One can literally see the body filling up with life force as a heightened sense of perception and awareness ensues. According to ancient Tantric texts. with repetition, this energy expansion leads to increased health and greater longevity. With practice it can  be put to the service of personal evolution.


From my forthcoming book entitled: A Woman's Guide to Opening a Man's Heart