Heartgasms: Discovering Energy Sex
Awakening the Serpent
Spiritual-sexual energy is like a sleeping serpent, ready to be roused for our
benefit. In Sanskrit it is called the "Kundalini" energy which, when
awakened, travels up the energy centers, or "chakras," of the body.
In the Vedic system, these include the root center, at the base of the spine,
the sex center, the solar plexus, the heart, the throat, the brow or third-eye
and the crown centers. As energy moves through the chakras, it cleanses
and ignites the human experience that corresponds to each one. For example, the
root center corresponds to our survival and physical balance. When it is
blocked we are out of balance and in fear about our ability to "make
it" in life. We tend to contract, closing down our generosity and
resources. When it is open, we feel abundant, fertile and alive with the glow
of life. Likewise, our sexual center corresponds to our generative capacity and
our sexuality, the solar plexus center to our power and self-concept, the heart
center to our love, trust and connection with others, the throat center
to our creativity and expression, the third-eye center to our intuition, vision
and perception, and the crown center to our connection with Spirit. When each
energy center is cleansed and opened, we experience a corresponding sense of
well-being and connectedness in its life segment.
Sexual-spiritual energy is like the rocket fuel that propels us through the
psycho-spiritual blocks that lodge in our energetic mind/body system, carrying
us to the vast expanses of clear, limitless consciousness. Yet, in spite
of the powerful potential of spiritual-sexual energy for personal evolution, we
have all been trained to experience a separation between our minds, bodies and
spirits. Instead of becoming the doorway to higher consciousness, sexuality
usually becomes the stage on which we enact our comedies, fantasies and
tragedies. Befriending and and directing the spiritual energy, fueled by sex, is
one way of healing the body-mind-spirit split.
Riding the Serpent
Learning to use energy in sex begins with gaining an awareness of what causes
it to flow. Sexual energy flows on the medium of intention and
connection. The more attention to the present moment there is, and the more
connection that is present, the more energy flows between persons.
However, the connection that causes this flow of energy does not have to be
personal. It can be a transcendent, universal kind of love, an esteem for the
personhood or precious qualities of another, or a simple honoring of a
person's value in your life. It can also be a wise, innate understanding
that, as sparks of Creation, all persons are worthy of love. No matter which
way you regard your partner, love or esteem will create a dynamic connection
through which you can contact the heart energy that, in combination with
intention or desire, generates spiritual/sexual energy.
Flawless attention to what is, that is, attention that is neither goal-oriented
nor performance-based, combined with the mastery of breath, is the gateway to
energetic sex. When we have a goal, we are no longer present to what is being
experienced in the moment, which means we are no longer paying attention to the
moment. Being present to what is happening now requires our total attention.
Relaxing the body and centering ourselves in the breath helps us drop our
goals, pay attention, and open to the unknown. True power comes when we give up
control in order to stay aware and present.
Since energy goes where attention goes, true union takes a joining of the heart
and sexual energy for the purpose of circulating it between persons. In
sacred sex, the energy that would be discharged in orgasm or ejaculation is
often circulated and re-directed to fuel higher consciousness, heal physical
and psychological blocks, or manifest personal goals.
The Wave
Energy follows a wave-like pattern, with a natural ebb and flow. A woman's
energy tends to follow the wave more than a man's, which tends to peak and
subside more quickly and independently. This flowing energy follows a path
in both the male and female body from the root center to the head and back
down to the root center. As it cleanses, invigorates and activates all the
energy centers, reawakening a deadened nervous system, it produces an undercurrent
of expansion that affects the energetic body/mind. One can literally see the body
filling up with life force as a heightened sense of perception and awareness ensues.
With repetition, this energy expansion leads to increased health and greater longevity. With
practice it can be put to the service of personal evolution.
From my book entitled: A Woman's Guide to Opening a Man's Heart
